The Reluctant Vampire Omnibus
Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub
An ebook omnibus of Eric Morecambe's classic children's books, THE RELUCTANT VAMPIRE and THE VAMPIRE'S RETURN, illustrated by Tony Ross.
A shocking announcement from the Vampire Prince -- that he doesn't like blood but prefers chips and a glass of red wine -- begins a tale of ghoulish intrigue and hilarious horror.
from the General that could be heard in the next village. ‘Please try to keep your voice down, General, I beg you.’ ‘Hi ham keepin’ my voice darn, Sah,’ the big General’s soft voice once more shook the chandeliers. ‘Yes, well I think the best thing you can do, General, is send me a memo.’ He took the General’s fat arm and purposefully walked towards the door with him, while at the same time, to show there were no hard feelings, he put an arm around the General’s generous shoulder. It reached
Sergeant and then at the body sitting in the chair. He did this three times before he spoke. ‘Well, aren’t you going to introduce me to the gentleman, Sergeant?’ The Inspector came round the desk, arm outstretched to shake hands with the dead man. Sergeant Salt drew a deep breath and shouted, ‘Sir, this man is dead.’ ‘Hello, Fred,’ the Inspector said with a smile. ‘I’m pleased to meet you.’ He held out his hand and watched as the body slowly sank off the chair on to the floor. ‘Good Lord,
a discreet distance behind them, all the way to their cottage. He then flew back to Bloodstock Castle, working out his plan to rid Gotcha of all his enemies and anyone else who happened to get in his way. CHAPTER 5 First you see me, then see me not. What a funny name I’ve got. ‘We are now in Katchem,’ said the beautiful stewardess. ‘We hope you have enjoyed your journey with us and that you will ride with us again. Please do not leave the coach until it has completely stopped.
it before answering. ‘Nineteen,’ he said. ‘Nineteen? Vos she really? I vould haff said eighteen. Maybe, mine bar-keeping frent, you are keeping it too cool. I don’t like it ven it’s too cool. Unterstant, Grabbo? I don’t like it ven it’s too colt, ya?’ ‘Yes, Sir.’ Grabbo grovelled. Areta continued to clear the tables although she had done them twice already. Victor watched her, a smile coming to his lips. ‘You know somethink, Grabbo?’ ‘Sir?’ ‘You daughter has become very beautiful, ya?’ ‘Er
around the room, his gaze resting on his other son, Valentine. ‘Very vell, you take the others out through the front door.’ He looked at the Doctor and the servant. ‘I vould take you out that vay mineself, but I’m afraid I don’t know vere the front door is.’ With that he gathered his wife and Vernon close to him, put his hand inside his cloak pocket, bringing out the ex-mayor of Katchem, and put him on his shoulder. He led them to the window, saying before they all jumped. ‘Ve vill see you in