The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need: Repress Your Anger, Think Negatively, Be a Good Blamer, and Throttle Your Inner Child

The Last Self-Help Book You'll Ever Need: Repress Your Anger, Think Negatively, Be a Good Blamer, and Throttle Your Inner Child

Paul Pearsall

Language: English

Pages: 256

ISBN: 0465054870

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

Although the tenets of self-help have been attacked before, Pearsall is the first psychologist to expose these deeply entrenched ideas to scientific scrutiny. And unlike other debunking books, The Last Self-Help Book You’ll Ever Need goes beyond skepticism to propose a set of life-affirming (and refreshingly contrarian) axioms that can help anyone lead the Good Life.

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highest self-esteem leads us into an irresponsible life no matter how successful we are in our careers and social lives. If our ultimate self-help goal is increasing and protecting our self-esteem, we risk preventing ourselves from making necessary substantive changes in our lives. We have become so consumed with trying to feel good that we are becoming sick and tired of trying too hard to be happy; as a result, we savor life too little. We have failed to recognize the ephemeral nature of

children instead of being really “with” them in the process of learning to live in the world. To be good parents, we first have to escape from our own childhoods long enough to help our children learn how to negotiate theirs. THE QUESTION OF A LIFETIME One of the most comprehensive studies on the impacts of early life experience and stress was conducted over several decades on students at Harvard University.8 The key factor that predicted early death in this group was the lack of a

all comes down to a matter of willpower. Nobody remembers who came in second. Success, ladies and gentlemen, is yours for the taking, but first you have to really, really want it! Do you want it? I can’t hear you! Do you really, really want it? These were the exact words of a motivational speaker addressing one of the largest insurance companies in the world. The motivationalist’s speech was like a pep rally. He was addressing five hundred of the company’s top sales people. They cheered in

instead whether some memory loss might not be a good thing. Perhaps the gradual erosion of short-term recall allows us to attend more fully to our present living. Thriving in old age means giving up the struggle to maintain a taut, young body; it means considering the notion that the aches and pains we accumulate along with our birthdays might be nature’s own way of saying sit down, shut up, and savor life. Most of the self-help gurus of “healthy aging” are relatively young. Their fear of what

Acknowledgments There are few better examples of the limits of “personal power” than writing a book. Without the interpersonal power of the love of my wife, Celest, and my sons, Scott and Roger, I would not be alive to write this one. Without the wonderfully chaotic family life forged by my mother, Carol, and my late father, Frank, whose spirit still enlivens my soul, my brother, Dennis, and I would not have grown to realize that “us-help” always trumps self-help. Without the aloha of my entire

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