Indecent Exposure

Indecent Exposure

Tom Sharpe

Language: English

Pages: 247

ISBN: 0871131420

Format: PDF / Kindle (mobi) / ePub

A blazing satire of South African apartheid, Indecent Exposure is Tom Sharpe's brilliant follow-up to his Riotous Assembly. Once again the setting is Piemburg, the deceptively peaceful looking capital of Zululand, where Kommandant van Heerden, Konstabel Els, and Luitenant Verkramp continue to terrorize true Englishmen and even truer Zulus in their relentless search for a perfect South Africa.

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something immutable and absolute, a Godlike self-sufficiency, that Kommandant van Heerden had always hoped to find in the English. And here it was before him in the Piemburg Golf Club in the shape of four middle-aged men and women whose inane chatter was proof positive that there was, in spite of wars, disasters, and imminent revolution, nothing serious to worry about. The Kommandant particularly admired the elegance with which the leader of the foursome, a florid man in his fifties, clicked his

night. “Bad business,” said the Colonel in the end and went off to bed. Major Bloxham sat on thinking about shellfish. In her room Mrs Heathcote-Kilkoon lay under one sheet unable to sleep and listened to the Zulus’ singing and the occasional murmur of voices from the stoep with increasing bitterness. “They’ll humiliate him if he comes,” she thought, recalling the miseries of her youth when napkins had been serviettes and lunch dinner. It was the thought of the humiliation she would suffer by

looking hurt. “Why not?” yelled Verkramp. “That’s my wife,” said the Sergeant. Verkramp could see that he had made a mistake. “Listen,” he said, “it’s not nice to put her in with a whole lot of kaffir girls.” “I know that.” said the Sergeant, “I just thought it might help.” “Help?” “Help my marriage,” the Sergeant explained. “She’s a bit… well, a bit flirtatious and I just thought I’d make sure one man didn’t look at her again.” Verkramp looked at the slide. “I shouldn’t have thought you

Verkramp looked at him disapprovingly. “Peeping Thomas,” he said. “I don’t see what that has to do with it,” said the Sergeant. “All I’m saying is that if you want to be really scientific you should bring a white girl up and try her on them.” Luitenant Verkramp was furious. “What a disgusting suggestion,” he said. “I wouldn’t dream of subjecting a white girl to such a revolting ordeal.” He gave orders for the treatment to be continued for at least another two days. “Two more days of this and

hounds who had picked up the scent of The English Rose. Compounded of Chanel No 5 and aniseed, it was unmistakable. Even the Dobermann Pinschers loping ominously behind the fox hounds could pick it up. In the light of the early dawn they quickened their pace. So did Colonel Heathcote-Kilkoon, whose sleep had not deflated him sufficiently to escape from the intractable embrace of his wife’s corsets. Stumbling about the thicket in an attempt to rid himself of the beastly things, the Colonel heard

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